ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

cybergay:

cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer 

confusedtree:

If you’re upset about Tumblr being sold to Yahoo that’s okay because your feelings literally do not matter and Tumblr doesn’t care about you and I love that a lot. That’s honestly really beautiful

yepperoni:

are you a trap card because i’ve fallen for you 

also i will more than likely be removing that guy from my friends list on fb bc he can go fuck himself too

for the past two days every nap i’ve taken has been interrupted by some horribly mistaken motherfucker that thinks anything they possibly need from me could be more important than sleeping. this is erroneous because anyone who knows me knows i’m an asshole who only cares about myself. please stop the bullshit thank you i know you guys know better.